Hutt Life

I hear there’s another, new Star Wars game coming out and it’s called Star Wars: 1313. What makes this game different from the other Star Wars games is you play a criminal and you do criminal things. I say, this isn’t different enough.

I propose, Hutt Life.

You are a young Hutt on the street trying to put together your first crew, taking your first, wobbly, um… undulation towards a life of wealth, notoriety, and alien hotties. You can play either a male or female Hutt (or are they all hermaphrodites?), because I’m all about equal opportunity crime, and you have to blackmail, bribe, steal, and break knee-caps to scrape together enough cash to start an empire.

Is it just me or do knee-caps seem like they should be a natural target for Hutts?

I want a Hutt as a playable character. I want game physics to accommodate a slithering tube of muscle doing violence. Would stairs present a challenge? A ladder sure as heck would. Forget tightrope walking or riding a motorcycle! Hovercycle? A Hutt as a playable character would require strategy, minions, and a strong stomach. This is the challenge I want to see in the next Star Wars game!

Hutt Life. I want a cut if this  becomes reality!

Hutt Life

Diablo 3 Observation

Me: [Wakes up and comes into the great room where C. is playing a video game. Stares at the screen for a moment.]

Me: Are those goats? Are you a sheppard? Sorry, goatherd?

C: Or… a witch doctor. Those are zombie dogs.

Me: Huh.

C. And I’m throwing jars of spider at people.

Me: Well, that makes sense. I’d be terrified if you threw a jar of spiders at me.

Seriously Diablo 3? That’s what you’re up to now? Zombie goat-dog and jars of spiders? Is this some sort of psychological warfare module? Back in my day you just shot the Hell out of your enemies with arrows.

Diablo 3 Observation