Day seven. Still not king.

I’m on day seven of no cola. Sensations I’ve felt this week: murderous rage (directed at olives and other drivers), feeling like a hollowed out pumpkin with my insides all scraped out, and my gut acting like a two-year-old who’s been deprived of candy! Despite all this, I haven’t had a drop of cola and I’m starting to get over the withdrawal symptoms.

I’ve been listening to this today.

“You’re like spaghetti; straight until you get hot.” roflmao

Last night I was describing this boss fight I’m on in my video game to C. and halfway through I realized just how horrible it sounds:

This giant, blind beast is lumbering around trying to get to this sacred place to destroy it. In order to kill this beast you must chop off it’s toes and fingers and when it falls over you have to drive a spike into its skull with, not one but, three hard whacks of your sword.

That’s really messed up!

Also, I failed to stop the lumbering beast and he ate an old lady and destroyed a sacred place and I failed to save the world. How can I face my video game again after that royal screw up?

I’m so ashamed of myself. Some hero I turned out to be.

Day seven. Still not king.